Last Wednesday our neighbor, Herkimer drug thug Kim Vargas, demonstrated skills acquired through decades of deadbeatism. Called on to surrender her unpaid for rented TV and laundry equipment, Vargas, tenant of Ft. Plain landlord Joe Handy, flawlessly demonstrated the aerodynamic potential of a flatscreen TV, sending it soaring gracefully from the driveway of her 328 Pleasant Avenue driveway to land beside the Great Rentals pickup van. Vargas then delivered the coup de gras to the machine, chucking it into the van as the Great Rentals guys stood clear.
Not pressing their luck, the rental recovery crew called the Herkimer Police to aid in the recovery of their laundry equipment from mighty mini Vargas. After some off-camera discussion with officers, Vargas again showed off her well-honed vandalism skills, scoring a perfect ten-point washer drop onto the sidewalk. A neighbor kindly delivered an unharmed dryer to the van (not shown), ending that day’s performance. Rest assured, there will be more. Vargas is an unending source of entertainment.
Does Kim Vargas have a sugar daddy? She couldn’t afford the equipment rental fees, yet someone’s paying for those FedEx Ground packages she gets day after day, week after week.