A Death In Herkimer

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Stephen Ames Berry

My wife Linda Kaidan delights in Herkimer’s abundant wildlife. Birds of all feathers and bold bushy squirrels have especially grown plump from her devotion. She feeds them daily from our driveway, our backyard sometimes being unsafe from nighttime poison gas attacks. The squirrels are very fond of black oiled sunflower seeds, the birds go for the good quality white bread.

Linda’s morning feeding time is well known–the unfriendly eyes of neighbors we’ve called out for drug and child trafficking surround us. The body dumped in our driveway from a passing car the other morning shouldn’t have surprised us:

The victim was a handsome gray squirrel with just a hint of red to his fur, his body still warm. He’d been killed by a perfect shot to the head at close range from a pellet gun.  Knowing Herkimer’s warped gang scum, he may have been lured close by his killer with treat for ease of execution and enjoyment of betrayal.

A sad small death in Herkimer: a handsome young squirrel killed by local gang filth and dumped in our driveway.
A sad small death in Herkimer: a handsome young squirrel killed by local gang filth and dumped in our driveway.

As intended, Linda was upset and buried Rocky, as we named him, in the backyard, which is covered by surveillance cameras.

Grave of Rocky the Squirrel, murdered by Herkimer drug scum, his body tossed in our driveway.
Grave of Rocky the Squirrel, murdered by Herkimer drug scum, his body tossed in our driveway.

Herkimer’s drug and child traffickers have a rich history of animal cruelty. It’s a pastime they’ve cultivated both for sadistic pleasure and as a means to intimidate those who call them out. When we moved to Herkimer eight years ago, someone shot several birds in our backyard, also with a pellet gun. After we buried them, someone dug up the bodies at night and left them on our back stairs. (And people wonder why we have all those cameras, lights and mics. )

Our dog Bear, an ancient Chow, was poisoned the day she arrived home from the animal shelter. She recovered, only to be constantly pelted with debris by weaponized gang kids from next door at Herkimer’s Historic Child Trafficking Hub (Jay Smith, landlord), seemingly a permanent gang sanctuary.

A Herkimer Howdy -Titanium Golf Club Hurled at Dog
Titanium golf club head hurled at old dog by neighboring gang family kids.

At night, Bear was blasted in her porous basement den by waves of volatilized pesticide from hand foggers, a standard regional gang weapon. (“Ya can’t prove nothin’!” Yeah, but the drones can. )

Bear is gone, casualty to years of our war to knife with Herkimer’s entrenched criminals. We were of an age, Bear and I. We used to hang out, share Subway Melts (extra extra bacon) and good Dutch beer. I miss Bear.

Bear
Bear

Who Killed Rocky Squirrel? Boris and Natasha?

I suspect Boris and Natasha may have had a hand in Rocky’s murder. The pair are legendary squirrel haters to whom we’ve given unwelcomed publicity.

339 Eureka Ave Pickaxe Gang Strikes Again–Did Boris And Natasha Send Them?