by Linda Kaidan
August 8, 2016 AM – Mysterious snow white maggots appear on top of trash can at 330 Pleasant Ave.
We all love Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs. But when I poked my head out front Tuesday morning, I gasped in surprise. There were at least 17 snow white maggots merrily wriggling atop my trash can. Perhaps they are a kind gift from a kindly neighbor? Like Arabian horses, those gorgeous maggots were best of breed. If they were intended to offend; they failed miserably. I’ve lived in West Africa and am a seasoned veteran of fly-infused beer and fresh bread with crisp-baked ants. As many survivalists know, a maggot-and-garlic sauté is tasty and nutritious. Maggots are medicinal: They love to eat rotten flesh found in open sores and so are very capable of clearing up infection, even gangrene. (A chance discovery made when inspecting neglected battlefield wounds.)
August 8, 2016 PM -Funny drunk neighbors socializing at 331 Pleasant Ave help fix my car.
After an exhausting day slogging away at a fascinating yet horribly low paid writing assignment, I vegged out and watched one of my favorite series about a dysfunctional family living on a beautiful Florida Key near Islamadora. At 11:30 PM, someone knocked on my door. Since it was so late at night I screamed. My dog, Bear, joined in. I peeked out of the doorway to see who it was, but they were gone. And though it was pitch black and my car was locked, my brake lights glowed red. Not wanting my battery to die, I left the imaginary protection of my home armed with a shovel. After hurling some insults into the answering darkness, I tried to do something about the malfunctioning brake lights. The new, friendly neighbors across the street started joking around and I couldn’t stay angry. In fact, they made me laugh more than I have in the two years of being besieged here on Pleasant Avenue. Crossing to my side of the street, they disconnected my battery for me, and showed me how to reconnect it—I had to leave in the morning. We all had fun. Perhaps this is our first experience of a new, reborn Pleasant Avenue.
August 10, 2016 PM –Punji stick finally pierces my foot in back yard at 330 Pleasant Ave.
At night I went looking for dog Bear. She knows we haven’t many friends out there and tends to hide in the bracken: “Hey Bear! Come on in, supper… OUUUUCH! “
One of many punji sticks lovingly crafted by haters poked a ragged hole in the bottom of my foot. Later investigation revealed whole clusters in our yard.
So I got a tetanus shot, x-rays and a prescription for antibiotics at Basset. Everyone was helpful, professional and nice.
And I also found out how to make a custom orthotic out of the white fuzzy cotton batting the podiatrist uses. I shaped it to fit to my foot, carving out a depression where the wound is, relieving pressure on the wound when I walk. Quite comfy.
Custom homemade orthotic to help heal Herkimer punji stake wound acquired in my booby trapped yard. Guess I’ve pissed off Pleasant Avenue’s drug and child traffickers, again.
Problems can help us meet new friends and learn how to do things better. And when you analyze a problem, you can often understand what’s wrong and figure out how to fix it. Solutions can be found in your own home with just the materials at hand. Critical thinking is fun, and often triumphant.